Identity

Identity

There are a lot of problems in our world today and there are a lot of people struggling in this life. I would like to offer an opinion concerning the genesis and the source of a lot of the problems with which people struggle today. I would like to propose that a lot of what is behind the mental and emotional struggles with which people struggle is identity. I could not even begin to sufficiently address this in this post but I would like to provide food for thought and a challenge to you if you believe lies about yourself.

From the beginning of time people have struggled with identity. “Who am I”, is the ultimate question with which we all struggle as we are coming into adulthood and many continue to struggle with throughout life. There are so many things coming against us and leading us to question who we are. It definitely begins in childhood, when we are looking to our parents to affirm who we are. It is the question of every boy and girl as they gaze into the eyes of each parent and silently ask the question, “Who am I?” Those early answers put us on a path for good or for harm based upon the affirmations or lack thereof which we have received. Unfortunately, many of us were given broken people to answer those questions, who, in fact, had no answers even for themselves as to who they were much less who we are.

Ideally, parents speak the language of affirmation to their children, teaching them through words and actions that they are capable, good and wonderful. What happens when this message is withheld or worse, another message is received? When we receive the message that we are broken, no good, flawed, not enough or too much, odd, limited, or fill in the blank with any negative which you heard, we internalize the message without question. Children believe that parents know more than they do and that the message that they are sending must be true. Even if they have the wherewithal to question the message, acceptance and incorporation of the message is subconsciously received.

As we progress through life, messages that speak to our identity are constantly forced upon us through those around us, the media, even the toy industry. “You are this and you must do and be this.” Why do we so easily receive these messages? I am here to say that we are programmed to receive them. Our greatest desire is to be fully known and fully loved. The lie is that if we are fully known, we will not be loved. If they knew that our bodies are not smooth and wrinkle-less, if they knew that our hair is grey, if they knew that we didn’t possess a certain ability or affinity or talent. . .  It goes on and on. So what do we do? We learn to “cover the flaws” and hide the shortcomings or even the differences.

I want to shout it to you and I want you to learn to shout it to yourself, “YOU ARE ENOUGH!” “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!” ‘YOU ARE UNIQUE!” “YOU ARE TALENTED!” “YOU ARE PERFECT FOR YOUR DESTINY!” “YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO FULFILL YOUR DESTINY!” This is my gift to you! You have no idea the power that you have to change your life. Your thoughts toward yourself and the words that you speak over yourself are more powerful than those of others. We are no longer children, nor do we have to operate in the identity which was imposed upon us in childhood. Give yourself the gift of the truth. If you don’t see this as the truth over your life, ask someone who cares about you. Ask them how they see you. Allow yourself to question your longstanding beliefs about who you are. If you don’t have a person in your life who can give you positive feedback, reach out to a counselor, life coach, or pastor. If they don’t give you the answers which align with a positive prospective, keep searching. There is someone out there that can help to point you into the direction of your true identity. If you don’t find them, reach out to me. I love helping others find who they truly are and how to get to where they want to be. May you enjoy this season and may your relish who you really are. You are a gift!